After a genuine push to get back blogging on a regular basis, all of the wheels fell off the truck as soon as I went on vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I had a fantastic trip (and will share pics and details this week) and wouldn’t have given that up for anything. But when I got back, everything was total chaos! I am not a person who functions well without a detailed schedule in front of me to follow. I am basically like Tiger Woods out on tour… one moment of unplanned time and I am banging hookers. Except there are never any hookers. There are loads of laundry. Or dirty baseboards. Or something equally as glamorous. At least I know that my husband won’t break up with me for having a torrid love affair with his collared shirts.
This led me straight into a week-long – and totally unproductive – philosophical debate with myself over what exactly I was seeking to accomplish in this life. I am hopelessly overeducated as a SAHM, which was painfully pointed out when my daughter listed my biggest talent as “cleaning” on one of her Mother’s Day gifts to me (yet another reason to hate this made up holiday). And though I am very thankful that I have the luxury of staying home and taking care of my child, I don’t feel like being a “mom” is something that I really should be that proud of. If I had to add my last few years to my CV, here is what it would look like.
Needless to say, this is not something that requires a master’s degree. Or any degree for that matter. Sometimes I find that I can stare blankly at a wall for hours and nobody will know the difference. This is not my intended life.
After a really nice heart-to-heart with my husband where he told me that he would support me if I went back to work and support me if I didn’t, I knew I had to figure my shit out and not just whine about it incessantly. So I looked for the following job:
Guess what? Nobody was hiring. So I guess it was up to me to create my own job, list my own objectives and get my ass to work! From now on it will be:
I know this job description is cheesy as hell, but I have yet to see one that isn’t, so whatever. It also avoids all of the more unpleasant duties involved with the job (toilet bowl cleaning, chauffeur duties, dog poop removal, et al.), just like a real job description! This mom thing is clearly what I make of it. I can do nothing more than autopilot through life or I can make things happen.
So I guess it is time to get to work. And starting tomorrow, I will show you how I have started!