Christmas Through the Years 

It is great to see all of the pictures floating around of families – kids going to see Santa, poses under the Christmas tree… So I thought I would push you all completely over the edge with cheesiness from my Christmases past. It all started here – Christmas 1977 – and seems to end (translation: I just got sleepy on a few glasses of rosé and stopped uploading pictures) when I was 15.

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Someone needs a diet. Stat.

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Cheers, bitches!  Thank you Mom for teaching me this so young.

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I can’t tell what’s sweeter… The Snoopy Snow Cone maker or that fine ass TV? And why are we making snow/ice on the carpet?

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Gratuitous undie pic. Enjoy it (or more likely thank God) because it is the only one you are ever getting.

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I still make this face when I absolutely hate your gift. Consider yourself warned.

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Apparently somewhere in between showering me with excessive gifts and love, my parents had time to create twin boys. I am politely smiling only because they are incredible dressers and I am hoping that they turn out gay (spoiler: they didn’t).

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Incredible dressers, Exhibit B.

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And Exhibit C. Unfortunately at this point I have discovered that they are not gay and am totally over them. Too bad I am not over Laura Ashley as well.

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Then someone thought it would be an even better idea to give me a sister. I am giddy as a goose in this picture because I know my mother is getting what is coming to her for this decision. I mean… The expression! The hair! I almost feel sorry for her. (I feel sorry for all of us in regards to the jammies.)

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My parents got me a Cabbage Patch Kid when people were rioting at stores in 1983. There is no rioting at Neiman Marcus this year, dear husband… You have no excuses.

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For the love of Christ, my parents hate me.

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Hell, hate me.

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Thankfully things were looking up in this Christmas pic (though they were clearly not for my sister). I had just acquired my first bottle of Chanel nail polish (true story: you can see me wearing the “Vamp” in the picture) and apparently that made me a jumpsuit-wearing thug. PEACE!!!

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P.S. I REALLY want to go back and recreate some of these gems with my sibs…  Anyone game???

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5 Responses to Christmas Through the Years

  1. Uncle Drewsel says:

    I am game. I have always needed a good red sports coat and crushed velvet jacket.

    • Mrs. AA says:

      Um, don’t forget the accompanying short shorts. That’s the best part! I am going to need to invest in some bad wigs. Seriously, this could be the most amazing thing we have ever done. And we are a family who has done a lot of…. things.

      • Uncle Drewsel says:

        I will get a pair of chubbies, that should seal the deal for short shorts. I think we should do this when we all are together. Would make for a horrible/awesome Christmas card or internet meme.

    • Mrs. AA says:

      Ha! This is hilarious!!! I will surely follow all of these tips when I try to get all of my siblings on Santa’s lap for that perfect picture. Merry Christmas to you!

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