Oh yes, you heard that right. I shave my face. And I have been doing it for a while now.
Now that I have been through cystic acne, a round of Accutane and the usual paranoia of getting really old in the face, I have become somewhat of a skin care obsessive. I have my dermatologist on speed dial. I have a “routine” (and unlike my past routines, I make sure I do it every night even if I am a hot drunk mess). I am a warrior!
My first foray into face shaving came when I had a chemical peel done at my derm’s. It included “dermaplaning”, which is a very fancy way of saying that someone else is going to shave your face. The results were great – my pores were unclogged, my skin was super soft and I glowed like f*cking Beyoncé. But as much as I would love to get a medical facial every week, the cost is really prohibitive. So what’s a girl to do?
Well, kick out $5 for some facial razors and call it a day! The at home process is super simple – with a clean, dry face hold your skin taut, position the razor at a 45 degree angle to your skin and use short, quick strokes to scrape away dead skin and peach fuzz. Questions?
Will my hair grow back dark and thick? Do you really think I would even try it if there was a remote chance? I know I am a nutcase, but COME ON. Your hair will grow back the exact same color and texture it was prior to shaving. And I have not noticed a speed in growth whatsoever. I have, however, noticed that I am constantly checking out my facial hair (and lack thereof) so I would assume by doing this you might experience a more heightened awareness of your facial hair situation as well. And that is probably a good thing, you hairy beast you.
Can I just use the razors I use on my legs? Go ahead, try that out and let me know how that works. I would normally say that only an idiot would use something meant for their legs on their face, but I have used hemorrhoid cream on my face before. And that is clearly meant for assholes. Literally.
Is there a special brand you recommend? Apparently we Americans think facial shaving in women is seriously taboo because you can not find a “women’s facial razor” at your local drugstore (which is a shame given the number of women in full beards/mustaches walking around). THESE Tinkle (tee hee) razors are the exact ones I use (notice that they have taken to calling them “eyebrow shapers”), but you can also find similar versions by Shiseido and Gabriella.
What is the difference between doing it at home vs. at your doctor’s office? You can’t sue if your face gets sliced up? I kid, I kid. Obviously you get more intense results when you pair a dermaplaning session with a chemical peel. But I have had absolutely fantastic results pairing my at home shave with a good night cream and retinoid. By brushing away all of those dead cells, your skin absorbs all of the good stuff you are putting on it SO much better.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.)