I think it would be a bit of an understatement to say that I am psychotically vigilant about my face. I put my skin in the same category as my weight and my parenting skills; I was not blessed by being naturally perfect in these areas. Not even close. I have to be mindful of my weaknesses every day… And if I don’t, I wind up with a face full of craters, an incredibly fat ass and a child in inpatient therapy.
But hard work and focus really does pay off in every category. Unfortunately, the amount of work necessary to keep the wheels on this bus seem to be ever-increasing as time wears on. A few dermatologist appointments ago, my doctor mentioned that the skin underneath my eyes was really starting to get crepey. Nobody wants to be called the “c” word and crepey is my “c” word.
I was offered two options by my self-described “conservative” dermatologist – I could get a lower blepharoplasty (eye SURGERY) for about $3k or start Pellevé treatment, which would run me about $750 but not show nearly as dramatic results. WAHHHHH! I will say that she wasn’t recommending surgery for me whatsoever (phew). But by recommending a treatment that might only marginally improve things, I think she was subtly telling me that I needed to give up the dream of staying youthful.
You know what I said? HELL. NO. (Actually, I said “fill me up with Botox”, then paid my bill and politely thanked her. But let’s not argue the finer points.)
I left that day feeling sad and kind of hopeless. This is an exact reenactment of me going home that day:
Thankfully the story doesn’t end there. Because that would be depressing. And having that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day (you’re welcome) is going to be depressing enough.
So what’s a girl to do?! I recently threw out ALL of my old skincare stuff in order to start a new regimen from scratch (I’ll tell you all about that later). Because of this I had a refrigerator-size (not kidding) box of new products that I was testing. One of those products – Acute Care – had been getting a huge amount of hype for being a way to aggressively treat wrinkles at home.
Well I aggressively treat wrinkles at a doctor’s office, so how useful could this be? To me this would be like playing with Matchbox cars when you have a Ferrari in the garage. But my Ferrari (other than being totally fictitious) was busted, so Matchbox cars it was!
My Acute Care was at the absolute BOTTOM of my testing box. I had given half of the sample to my mother and promptly ignored the rest. (Important to note, my mother also called to tell me how they actually worked but I ignored that as well. Just like her advice about men and getting drunk in public.)
To make a long story short, I begrudgingly put these little patches on the area under my eyes and went to sleep, dreaming of my now-needed plastic surgery and my future as a Jocelyn Wildenstein (don’t click it… you did, didn’t you?) look-alike. I woke up and… THE WRINKLES WERE GONE. Every one of them. I couldn’t believe it. And they stayed gone, by using the patches just two times a week for a month. (Apparently after the first month you only have to use them every two to three months as needed.)
So you’d better believe that I grabbed my new super secret product and trotted it right down to my doctor to see what she had to say. “Oh yeah! They are fantastic aren’t they?!” She went on to say that she didn’t recommend them because they weren’t on sale to the general public. She did not go on to say that they cost nearly 70% LESS than the CHEAPEST approach she had offered. Um, W.T.F.
But guess what is going on public sale as I type this now??? You guessed it.
I am still a huge fan of fillers and Botox and that will not change. They work REALLY well and have served me reliably since 2006. However, if you are ever faced with a problem area that can’t be injected (like my lower eyes) or if you don’t want to be bothered (or pay the $$$) to go to the doctor every few months, I highly recommend checking Acute Care out. (Buy it directly HERE.)
What I don’t recommend? Giving up the dream of being pretty at any age! And meth. I don’t recommend meth.