Oh yes, you heard that right. I shave my face. And I have been doing it for a while now.
Now that I have been through cystic acne, a round of Accutane and the usual paranoia of getting really old in the face, I have become somewhat of a skin care obsessive. I have my dermatologist on speed dial. I have a “routine” (and unlike my past routines, I make sure I do it every night even if I am a hot drunk mess). I am a warrior!
My first foray into face shaving came when I had a chemical peel done at my derm’s. It included “dermaplaning”, which is a very fancy way of saying that someone else is going to shave your face. The results were great – my pores were unclogged, my skin was super soft and I glowed like f*cking Beyoncé. But as much as I would love to get a medical facial every week, the cost is really prohibitive. So what’s a girl to do?
Well, kick out $5 for some facial razors and call it a day! The at home process is super simple – with a clean, dry face hold your skin taut, position the razor at a 45 degree angle to your skin and use short, quick strokes to scrape away dead skin and peach fuzz. Questions?
Will my hair grow back dark and thick?Do you really think I would even try it if there was a remote chance? I know I am a nutcase, but COME ON. Your hair will grow back the exact same color and texture it was prior to shaving. And I have not noticed a speed in growth whatsoever. I have, however, noticed that I am constantly checking out my facial hair (and lack thereof) so I would assume by doing this you might experience a more heightened awareness of your facial hair situation as well. And that is probably a good thing, you hairy beast you.
Can I just use the razors I use on my legs?Go ahead, try that out and let me know how that works. I would normally say that only an idiot would use something meant for their legs on their face, but I have used hemorrhoid cream on my face before. And that is clearly meant for assholes. Literally.
Is there a special brand you recommend?Apparently we Americans think facial shaving in women is seriously taboo because you can not find a “women’s facial razor” at your local drugstore (which is a shame given the number of women in full beards/mustaches walking around). THESE Tinkle (tee hee) razors are the exact ones I use (notice that they have taken to calling them “eyebrow shapers”), but you can also find similar versions by Shiseido and Gabriella.
What is the difference between doing it at home vs. at your doctor’s office?You can’t sue if your face gets sliced up? I kid, I kid. Obviously you get more intense results when you pair a dermaplaning session with a chemical peel. But I have had absolutely fantastic results pairing my at home shave with a good night cream and retinoid. By brushing away all of those dead cells, your skin absorbs all of the good stuff you are putting on it SO much better.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?A fsh. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.)
This Sunday, we set out to explore another neighborhood of Chicago – Ravenswood – and all of its culture, cuisine and cocktails.
I have passed along my addiction to public transportation with my family. I really need to pass along some paranoia of communicable disease, because Pickle is not at all afraid to touch anything.
Pictured below are probably going to be some of the first victims of the Ebola virus once it hits Chicago.
Because I am no dummy, I planned to feed my family before setting out to do anything remotely cultural. This plan slightly backfired when we arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes before it opened. But we had our pick of seats!
On recommendation, we chose to dine at Spacca Napoli, an authentic Neapolitan pizzeria. I love Chicago, but I HATE Chicago deep dish pizza. So finding this place in a sea of doughy, wet crusts was so refreshing.
Today, I chose to indulge in a Vino Rosato – Susucaru No. 5 – which was super acidic and dry. And even more potent! Highly recommended.
Someone was feeling left out.
We started our meal with burrata and toast. It was divine. It was also the size of my two fists put together!
Now to the main show, the wood-fired pizza….
Because (as you have most certainly discovered by now) my child only eats cheese/starch derivatives, our first pizza was Quattro Formaggi.
We went out on a limb and dove into the pizza special – a prosciutto and fig pizza. “Special” was an understatement.
Half drunk and stuffed, we moved out to explore the Ravenswood Art Walk. It was a perfect day to take a walk… And every day is a perfect day for art!
Another family picture! Can you spy the third member of our party????
I thought that the food coma would buy me some time to really explore the exhibits, but apparently the wine made me delusional. Although I did get to explore several galleries, you only get two pictures. Two!
And instead of buying art, we ended up buying chocolate. Surprise, surprise.
My husband and I agree on many things: red velvet cake… Okay, that’s it. So it really is no surprise that he does not take the extreme pleasure that I do in the BLOOMINGDALE’S FRIENDS AND FAMILY SALE!!!! He thinks I am just wasting his money. I know I am actually saving his money!
Either way you look at it, until October 5th you can save 20% on almost everything in the store. It is perfectly timed to stock up on your much-needed fall and winter staples (see! TOTALLY practical!!). Here are some of my faves.
Not that we aren’t friends… But you know how sometimes with friends you hold back your very best beauty/shopping/parenting/sexual position secrets? Well folks, this is one that I have been holding back from the blog for a while. And even though this store is no secret whatsoever, I have this paralyzing fear of shouting my love for them from the rooftops. But today is the today I let go.
I love to dress up (surprise! – said no one). Halloween is not only the best excuse to dress up, but the best excuse to dress up like a slut! And there is no better place to get your freak on than Trashy Lingerie.
My MOM (yes, I know this explains a lot about me) took me to Trashy when I was moving to Los Angeles. As one would be when entering a pink stucco building in Beverly Grove filled completely with Playmates, I was immediately hooked (though not as much so as my dad, yes he came too…. yes this also explains a lot).
The costumes here are all from Trashy’s exclusive collection. The ones shown are the most conservative… Because let’s be real, the only time we dress like a real slut is when we want jewelry (but don’t worry, they have a costume for that too). They are also the least expensive (most run under $100)! If you really want to go all out (*cough, diamond upgrade, cough*), you can have a costume custom made for you for prices upwards of $300. But trust me, the “bargain” costumes are gorgeous.
I have been wearing Trashy and Trashy ONLY since that sweet mother/father/daughter/Playmates trip over ten years ago. Some blasts from the past:
Twerkin’ Vampire – 2013
Queen of Hearts – 2011
Beer Maid – 2003
This was my very first (and most slutty!) Trashy! Also pictured is my business school bestie who, unlike my “retired” self, is a very accomplished businesswoman who probably does not want the world to see her performing fellatio on a pen.
I just ordered my 2014-edition Trashy costume. Any guesses on what I will be? What are you going to be this year?
When we lived in Cincinnati, I had the great idea to institute Sunday Funday every week. We did it once and then realized that there was nothing fun to do in Cincinnati. The End. But since we have moved to Chicago, we have been so busy Sunday Fundaying it up that I kind of forgot to blog (I never forget to Instagram)… But no more!
This week was the trifecta of brunch (Terzo Piano), The Art Institute and Millennium Park.
It included champagne (required at all Sunday Fundays).
Also required is some combination of cheese and bread for Pickle.
More champy (required).
My egg and NDUJA on grilled bread. I had no idea what NDUJA was and didn’t want to, fearing it was lamb brains or some derivative.
Seeeeee the NDUJA. Gooooooogle the NDUJA. (Not lamb brains.)
My husband likes waffles. I think that says a lot about him. Waffles are a happy food.
Now that we were sufficiently tipsy (adults) and bloated from two orders of bread (Pickle), we braved the museum. It went as well as expected.
Here’s a view of the highlights. It will take you about as long to flip through the images as we got to actually view the exhibits.
Paperweights! (I mean, doesn’t everyone’s grandmother have this exact same collection?)
I liked the bee paperweight. That was special.
Pickle likes Matisse.
I like Mondrian.
Nobody liked Asian artifacts.
My husband liked the miniatures section. This was just as cool as nobody expected.
Moving on to Millennium….
Pickle is better at the #selfie than you are.
Under the bean.
And the rarest of rare… A family photo!
Hope you all had a great weekend filled with all the family and fun (and champy!) that you desired. Until next time! Peace!!
So my working out 1+ hours a day has been pretty unproductive. Yay. Apparently it is time to take matters to the next level… Meaning eating nothing that isn’t green (no, not you pistachio ice cream).
Eating only kale and the like really isn’t the most painful part of a diet, it is the constant yearning for something OTHER than kale that is. So what does any reasonable person do with these cravings? Well, troll the internet looking at food porn of course!
The most amazing treats that I have found whilst on this journey of self-deprivation have come from Jam Jar Bakery. Pies. In a Jar. Now I don’t normally share the same cravings as Jason Biggs, but the thought of a little slice of heaven in a single-sized portion served in a hipster-style container… I’m in.
I really have a passion for interior design that I, unfortunately, discovered way too late in life. (Seriously, I worked in investments for four years?! Total waste.) Obviously I have done a lot in my own home, but recently I branched out and designed a guest bedroom for my brother (baby steps with the family, yo).
I thought I would share the mood boards that I put together for him (and he subsequently used to decorate).
It was interesting for me to listen to what someone else wanted and not just do whatever the hell I felt like. (My former employers were right; I am pretty terrible at following direction when I don’t like it.) However, my “client” was pretty awesome and allowed me to sneak in some of my own quirk with the pops of yellow and the llama print, which is by far the highlight of the entire room.